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Post by Mint on Jan 14, 2008 3:40:45 GMT 7
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Post by tori23 on Jan 14, 2008 18:29:52 GMT 7
I'll have to read it (if not now later tonight..after school) and leave a review :3
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Post by AK on Jan 14, 2008 20:09:21 GMT 7
Yay~ Kuro-chan finally wrote~!
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Post by Mint on Jan 14, 2008 20:14:23 GMT 7
yes....but it's not very good
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Post by AK on Jan 14, 2008 21:14:52 GMT 7
At least better than me
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Post by eXdream on Jan 16, 2008 22:47:34 GMT 7
Aye, I like your story! Sugeeee~ :3
Good job on your first one!
^^
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Post by Mint on Jan 17, 2008 2:10:07 GMT 7
Thank you....
my brother deleted some of chapters so I have to re-write them >.<
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Post by mada on Jan 17, 2008 6:54:02 GMT 7
ouch. i feel sorry for you. i would of forgotten the chapter fast
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Post by Mint on Jan 17, 2008 6:59:06 GMT 7
I know...I have no clue on how to re-write them....
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Post by mada on Jan 17, 2008 7:01:23 GMT 7
lol.. just make it off your your head.
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Post by Mint on Jan 23, 2008 4:09:29 GMT 7
I try....
and, new chapter...
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Post by tori23 on Jan 27, 2008 1:32:45 GMT 7
I read the new chapter :3
I liked it
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Post by AK on Jan 27, 2008 11:20:30 GMT 7
Nice chappie~ Add oil~
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Post by Mint on Jan 27, 2008 22:34:14 GMT 7
eh...thanks ^^ but the next chapter...I'm stuck =P and to think I got the whole plot down...
Question: where does the American Team live? I know in the states but which state? I forgot =P
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Post by shiraishi on Jan 28, 2008 1:28:24 GMT 7
Nice job you have some potential and trust me when I say that I mean it. I used to be a big R&R person on fanfiction.net, though they kicked me out of my mod post and banned my account... I don't want to get into the details.... BUT seriously this is some nice writing skill. A great job for a first try.
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Post by Mint on Jan 28, 2008 1:44:55 GMT 7
They kicked...you out....I don't think I even want to know.... =P
But still, thanks!
I'm still wondering where in the states do the American Team reside
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Post by Yume on Jan 29, 2008 11:42:11 GMT 7
eh...thanks ^^ but the next chapter...I'm stuck =P and to think I got the whole plot down...
Question: where does the American Team live? I know in the states but which state? I forgot =P
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Post by Mint on Jan 30, 2008 7:19:28 GMT 7
thanks...that's what I thought at first
well...um....you guys mind taking a look at chapter 3? its:
Chapter 3
In the world of airports not owned by Atobe, were six people, lost and confused.
“Buchou…where are we?!” A bubble-gum chewing, Marui asked.
“In an airport, can’t you figure that out yourself?” Niou answered for Yukimura.
“I know that.” Marui defended himself. “But I want to know why exactly we are here instead of boarding Atobe’s plane instead!”
“Because, genius, Atobe’s plane is being repaired since some red-head on his team decided to take all his planes on a test drive…and severely damaged all of them.” Niou said.
“All 149 of them?!” Marui screamed.
“But didn’t you know that already?” Fuji asked, popping up behind Marui.
“AH! Don’t do that, Fuji….you’ll cast me in the state of Yips….and it reminds me of Renji…” Marui said, frightened almost half to death.
“Ore-sama’s maids told him that they will be all repaired by next week.”
“Why not just buy another one, Atobe-kun?” Yukimura asked.
“Ore-sama is not made of money you know, Yukimura.”
“Actually…you are, Atobe.” Oshitari said, smirking.
“Would the passengers of flight 701B please board the plane?”
“That’s out flight, and to think it’s on time.” Marui said.
------This is a separation line-----See how awesome it is? -------
On the plane…..
“Can I have….5 chocolate bars, 20 packs of gum, uh….oh some of that…and that!” Marui said excitedly to the flight attendant on the plane.
“Um….okay, sir.” She said wearily. “Anything else?”
“Yes! I want all of that!” Marui screamed, pointing to the whole cart of sweets.
“Save some for the little kids Marui. I’m sure they all want some candy, too.” Yukimura said smiling in his seat next to Marui.
…..It was then when the little kids looked up to Yukimura like a God.
“Puri. You got to stop eating so much.”
”Why do you care Niou?”
“One: You’ll get too fat to play tennis. Two: diabetes. Three: Jackal will need a new doubles partner. And four: I don’t care…you can be the fattest person in the world for all I care.”
“…..I hate you” Marui said.
“I know you do.”
-------A few hours later--------
“Attention passengers of flight 701B. We will be landing in one hour”
”HOORAY!!” Marui and some other little kids screamed.
“Marui…there is no need to get excited over that. There is still one hour left.” Oshitari said.
“Ann~…who is that screaming? Ore-sama is trying to get Ore-sama’s beauty sleep.”
“…..” this came from everyone on the plane. It even came from the crying babies that I never mentioned.
“Atobe, you’ll get your beauty sleep later.” Fuji spoke up.
55 minutes later……
“We are now landing.” said the pilot.
“…..can I say hooray now?” asked Marui.
“Yes.” said Yukimura.
“HOORAY!!!!”
----------Off the Plane------
“….where are we?”
“At another airport….”
“And what are we doing here?”
“…..”
“What? I don’t really know.”
“Idiot…”
“I AM NOT!”
it's not done...but how is it now?
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Post by Candy-san on Jan 30, 2008 8:09:34 GMT 7
Chapter three? Cool ^^
I need to hop on FF.net sometime soon and review ..hopefully soon~
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Post by rie on Jan 30, 2008 16:52:49 GMT 7
Work Hard~~ We will be looking forward to it!!!
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Post by AK on Jan 30, 2008 17:15:23 GMT 7
haha XD Marui is so kawaii na~
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Post by Mint on Jan 30, 2008 20:16:36 GMT 7
should I just end it there?
'cause I can't think of anything else
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Post by AK on Jan 30, 2008 20:40:45 GMT 7
If u want, you can sa~
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Post by rie on Jan 31, 2008 19:28:15 GMT 7
Thanks for sharing!!
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