The bunch of hopeless humour

[shiraishik]

That was cute, if a little cheesy in places XD

[shiraishi]

Well a nice conversationalist story rather good for it's type, perhaps you should have expanded a bit more it was good. Oh and your writings not horrible it's just candor maybe you should add description or something...

[kyuuki]

Disclaimer: Be happy I don't own Prince of Tennis because I'd name Ryoma...Vincent O.O I should strike that out in case I get bricked yet again. Oh, and I don't own.

Prompt word: Catflap

Note: No Nanjiroh Echizens were harmed in the making of this fanfiction.

---

CATFLAP

"Here Karupin, have more feed,"

Nanjiroh heard the familiar miaowing of their house cat Karupin and the inhumanly gentle voice of his son. He sighed. If Ryoma actually bothered to use that tone on a girl, he would have twice as many girls on his tail. But that little kid didn't seem to enjoy his fanbase too much.

It was dinnertime for Karupin, and Ryoma always gave him extra food. It was a wonder he could still fit through the catflap-

"Pop."

Nanjiroh turned to the direction of the suction sound to see an obese cat stuck in their catflap, and couldn't help but snicker. What goes around comes back round no? That naughty himalayan cat of his ripped up many of his porn magazines, and he wants the rest of his collection in one piece, thank you very much.

"Oyaji," Ryoma's impatient voice came from behind him. "What did you do to Karupin?" He knew his baka oyaji had a grudge against his beloved cat since forever, but stuffing his cat fat is an idea he would absolutely NOT entertain. But then, since it was his stupid father, anything could happen.

"Me? Seishounen, you were the one who feeds the cat everyday. Don't look that me." Nanjiroh made a vain attempt to hide his smiling face, and gave a loud chuckle.

Ryoma was startled. HE was the one who did this to Karupin? No, no, he was merely giving the cat seconds. That Karupin seemed all fur and no meat. Now, how could he ever, possibly mistreat his dear dear cat? Karupin was the love of his life, and yes, he was willing to be asexual for that.

Karupin miaowed pitifully, and Ryoma's feline eyes softened. "Oy, Karupin." He whispered, and Nanjiroh strained to hear what he was saying to his cat. "My baka oyaji is denying it. Next time, when I get you out, we can-"

"ECHIZEN!" It was the faint voice of his senpai from down the street. Yes, Momoshiro does yell that loud. Before long, he had rode up the hill and parked his bicycle outside the Echizen Residence. "?!"

"What." Ryoma switched to monotone mode in time for his senpai, his voice going all apathetic again.

"Is that your cat's face or butt?"

Ryoma blinked skeptically. "The face. Karupin was trying to get out."

"Oh." Momoshiro caught a glimpse of Ryoma and grinned. "Nice jammies, Ryoma, but its only 7.25pm."

"Karupin likes the smell of my pyjamas, so I change into them before feeding him."

"Its working too well..."

"Perphaps."

"...Are you changing out anytime soon? We are supposed to be kicking that Iga-Miyoshi pair's butt in ten minutes."

Ryoma looking confused. "Which Iga-Miyoshi?"

"There is only one Iga-Miyoshi pair, Ryoma," Momoshiro sighed. "Iga is the one with the nose ring and spiky hair. Miyoshi's the one with the afro hairstyle like that gay guy from Shitenhouji and one eyebrow. I thought you had better memory than this, Ryoma. Or is it just the cat?"

Ryoma ignored the last comment. "Oh, those losers."

"You coming?"

"Help me get my cat out first."

"Around your cat, Ryoma, you are getting so soft that when the rain falls down, it makes your head bleed."

"I have a hat."

"That's not the point."

Ryoma found it easy to ignore his senpai nowadays. It was almost a habit, since his senpai's mouth spewed nothing but nonsensical advice. Brushing the fur away from the sides of the catflap, he could see fat, no, scratch that, blubber bulging off Karupin. Okay, he took back what he said about Karupin being all fur and no meat, but that doesn't stop him from loving his darling cat to bits.

"We can pull..." Momoshiro suggested stupidly.

Ryoma sent him a dangerous glare. If looks could kill, Momoshiro would be pelted with tennis balls for all of eternity. If he pulled, Karupin would probably get hurt, in someway or another. Anyone who hurts Karupin means...WAR!

Ryoma twitched like how Tezuka always twitches when reminded of his defeat against Atobe during the Regionals. Nanjiroh snickered. Oh yes, oh yes, he was so enjoying this. "Getting all emotional over a cat, seishounen? Tsk tsk, I thought you were more of a-"

"Shut up, will you?"

"-a hormonal teenager." Momoshiro chuckled, obviously haven't learnt anything from the last glare.

"I'm not a teenager yet, baka oyaji. Its October, and I'm not turning thirteen till December. And no, I am NOT asexual." Maybe. Ryoma hissed. His cat-like golden orbs flashed dangerously. If he grew pointed ears and a tail, he could pass as a cat. Wait...If he grew pointed ears and a tail, he would BE a cat.

"Ryoma, look." Momoshiro coughed to get his attention. "It is 8.55pm already. You can't expect me to go there and beat up those guys in singles, can you?"

"I don't mind."

"ECHIZEN! (Slight manga spoiler in this sentence) Our finals with Rikkai in the Nationals is just round the corner! Tezuka buchou wouldn't like it if you wait until your cat starves and drop out of this lame catflap of yours-"

"Starve? Oh no, I am going to feed Karupin everyday."

"...Echizen, that's ridiculous. You are certifiably insane. Look, I'm going to hold our opponents there for an extra fifteen minutes, and if you don't come by then, I'll trash them and take all the money from the bet."

"You go do just that."

Momoshiro left gleefully, and Ryoma was glad for the moment of peace. If only his father would go away...

"Oy, shounen. I have to ring the bell now. Get your cat out fast." Nanjiroh grumbled, stood up and left, his cigarette giving off a terrible smell. Ryoma sighed happily. Now his distractions are gone, he could think.

Oh. His baka oyaji left his porn magazine here. If Karupin was free, he would be ever so happy...

"Karupin." Ryoma had gone so fed up with his stupid father. "See this magazine?"

"Miaow?"

"Just do this." Ryoma took hold of a paw and slid the claws over the page, leaving unsightly marks on an equally unsightly...woman.

Karupin miaowed knowingly.

Karupin reached for the magazine with his paw. It was just out of reach. Ryoma thought of pulling the magazine closer, but changed his mind. Karupin shifted uncomfortably in the catflap, trying to reach the magazine.

Ryoma looked in awe as the sheer willpower and determination of his himalayan cat to reach for and tear up the porn magazine pulled itself neatly from the catflap, where it stayed about a little more than half an hour in gruelling torture. For the owner, not the cat.

Karupin rolled on the floor like a lump of fur and meat, stopping before the offending item and tearing it up to pieces.

It is official. Ryoma loves Karupin. Ryoma holds higher esteem for Karupin than his baka oyaji.

"Oy, seishounen. Have you seen my maga- ARGH!" Nanjiroh screamed at the ruins of his magazine. It took him days to get this copy!

Ryoma grinned at him, which was an expression he hardly saw on his son's face, but that wasn't important.

"Have you been...?"

"Teaching Karupin to do this? Of course!"

"Ryoma, today you have breathed your last. I challenge you to a tennis match!" Nanjiroh was livid.

"Anytime, oyaji."

Karupin scampered off in the direction of Nanjiroh's room, which stocks all the offending materials his father collected over the years. Nanjiroh sped down the hall after it, horrified. However, Rinko caught him neatly by the ears and gave him the best dressing-down he had ever had since the days of his mother.

At least Karupin got out of the darned catflap.

---

Humour works better in my opinion D: Posting my triology of Gakuto Learns Chess when I complete the third chapter :D

[shiraishik]

hahahaha your very funny! (in a good way) can't wait for Gakuto to learn chess XD

[kyuuki]

Its mainly this series in which Gakuto pisses off and/or kills off Atobe, Oshitari and Shishido without knowing xD
And the regulars have to teach him grammer again ^^

[shiraishik]

POST IT POST IT POST IT!!!! can't wait XD

[shiraishi]

Now this was better that the first can't wait for more!

[kyuuki]

The third chapter of Gakuto Learns Chess is freaking me out.

Needs extra research time.
hates DETESTS exams :\

[hakuryu]

Lol at the 2nd one

karupin especially trained to kill nanjirou's magazines

i likes ur stories ;D

[kyuuki]

Maybe to stop people from whining I shall post one every few days until I pull out the third installment of Gakuto Learns Chess, which is like this biggest migraine a fanfiction author can get =.=

---

Disclaimer: Be happy I don't own Prince of Tennis because I'd name Shirashi...The MUMMY :D

Prompt word: Bandage

Duration: Written out on 3.34pm to 5.10pm. Any plotholes are NOT intentional. They are NOT deliberate. LOL, I'm demoting myself.

Dedicated to: SHITENHOUJI FANS :D That means you two Shiraishi and Shiraishik xD

I'm interpreting that everyone knows those gays there, so that cheesy bit won't freak you out.

---

Posion Claws

"Shirashi-senpai," Kintarou whined. "If you had put me in Singles 3, I would be able to beat that Fuji faster than you did!!" It was just a few hours after the match, and boy was that kid whining.

"That's buchou to you." Shirashi frowned. "Kenya, recite the last scores between me and Kintarou."

"Ehh, 7 games is to 5, Shirashi-buchou wins."

Kintarou sulked like any other 7 Grader, with the exception of Echizen. "Surely I could have improved?"

"That," Shirashi smacked his forehead in distress. "Was an hour ago."

"Well I COULD."

"You're just as whiny as that redhead from Hyotei." Oshitari, or more commonly known as Kenya, sighed.

"HE WASN'T MORE WHINY THAT ME!! I am so whinier than him."

Yes, that's the Kintarou we all know. If anyone said that somebody jumped off the eleventh storey, he'd purposely jump off the twelveth, just for the sake of it.

"...Lets just go and make our nagasi shoumen thing."

Kintarou, ever enthusiastic, grinned. "I'll be able to beat Koshimae in building nagasi shoumen contraptions, anyday."

Their data expert spoke up, clearly enjoying his gay partner purring at his ears. "Its Echizen, by the way. Don't you know that they are having a BBQ party in the restaurant that is exactly at the place where we are building up our contraption?"

The members gasped then rolled their eyes at their public display of affection. A few days ago, Kenya had bet two thou that they hadn't kissed yet. It would be very interesting to tease about them if it was true, but then Kenya had promised to split the money up neatly between the regulars.

Everyone knows that Kenya would find a way to break his promise in a roundabout way, like his crafty little cousin, but still, there was a possibility...

"How is it seeing your long-lost cousin?"

Kenya frowned. "Not too happy. He stole Fuji-san's Higuma Otoshi."

"I heard that their buchou Atobe Keigo knows that particular move too." Chitose said.

"Funny, I don't recall seeing him."

"I did, but he was being chased by their member...I think Shishido Ryoh. He was wearing a blue cap. Seemed to be Shishido's." Chitose chuckled. "He was muttering about his hair, razors...and if I remember correctly, he was cursing Echizen."

"Wow. The things people do for hair."

"More like the love of hair."

"Would someone actually curse a person for his own hair?"

"I don't know," Chitose admitted. "But for Atobe, you never know."

"Yeah. Too bad we won three sets in a row. I would really like to see his hai-" Kenya was cut off by Chitose, who pointed.

"Look! The contraption is done!"

"Chitose...We slacked through it."

"Do you care?"

Pause. "No."

"That's the spirit, lets go and eat!"

Kintarou was being lame, Shirashi exasperated, Zaizen vain, Gin meditating, the gay couple slacking. It seemed like Kintarou buildt the contraption by himself, because it seemed messier than Kenya's handwriting and equally illegible.

"Where's the start?"

"Eh...The end is here," Kintarou pointed randomly. "Follow the pipe up and you can get to the start!"

"Very clever Kintarou," Shirashi bit his lip in sheer frustration. He only had one last card to play, and it normally worked quite well. Tugging at the bandages, he threatened, "Talk straight now."

He made a big mistake standing beside Chitose, who never believed in poison claws anyway. The said person 'accidentally' pulled off the bandage. The white strip slipped off his arm, showing off a perfectly normal hand.

Kintarou blinked in disbelief. That was way too sudden.

Shirashi bitch-slapped Chitose and wore back the bandages, and they finished the (un)satisfying meal in complete, awkward silence.

The next day, Shirashi left his house feeling very miserable. His sixth sense was accurate, because Kintarou wreked havoc during practice, and his orders weren't been followed.

"All you have is a weird tan line," Kintarou announced testily. "See, I got one too." He revealed a squiggly line on his calf, which has never been there before. It was definately tanned just the day before. "You don't scare me."

The next thing he did when he went back home was to bandage his forehead. He can convince Kintarou about the third eye next time.

---

Okay.
That was lame.
Oh well.

[shiraishik]

lol, i really do wonder what's under his bandage, we'll probably never know, anyway, that was funny ;D

[shiraishi]

LOL. Good fic but I still liked the karupin one better, tis one seemed a bit rushed.